WHAT IS ANGER? NORMAL VS ABNORMAL
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. It may vary in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage.
Anger may be caused by both external and internal events like uncontrollable situations, negative thinking, fatigue, helplessness, deprivation, competition, etc.
WHY SHOULD IT BE CONTROLLED?
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't express our anger at every person or object that irritates or annoys us. Unexpressed anger can create problems as it can lead to passive-aggressive behaviour, self harm, psychological problems, unsuccessful interpersonal relationships, etc.
Like all emotions, anger also is short-lived; it gradually goes to a peak and settles down slowly provided you are able to distract yourself. This is a fact that usually we are not very well aware of, which makes it uncontrollable. So the next time you get angry don’t think about how you can’t control your anger, rather try out different techniques which help you resolve your anger.
HOW CAN IT CONTROLLED?
Relaxation- deep breathing or counting your breath, with full focus on breathing, imagining light pleasant scenes can help calm down anger with immediate effect.
Timeplan- Make a timetable with all your daily activities so that you are well prepared to handle emergencies. It will help in making a serious attempt to face it than lose patience, think negative, and feel irritable and finally angry.
Better Communication- Angry people tend to jump to conclusions. Leave the situation and get back to discuss once you are calm. Avoid heated discussions when angry.
Time a discussion appropriately- when you discuss things, avoid doing it when you or the other person are tired, distracted, or irritable, as it may flare up problems. An appropriate time should be sought for discussion.
Therapy/ counselling- If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counselling to learn more technical ways of dealing with negative emotions. Psychotherapy involves the use of thinking, feelings and behaviours, which in case if maladaptive, may be modified. A certified psychologist may be contacted for the same.
By:
BANDNA REKHI
CONSULTANT CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST
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